Friday, January 09, 2004
At work we are in the process of moving from Lotus Notes to
MS Outlook. This prompted some general briefings to (L)users. And it also
prompted some blinding questions.
Presenter: "Ok, so that's basically the process which will allow BAESYSTEMS
to move from Lotus Notes to Outlook. Any questions?"
Panic-voiced (L)user: "Yes, I have a question. Can we still use
attachments?"
(at this point my friend rolled his eyes so hard he almost sprained his optic
nerve)
Presenter: "Yes you can." (amazingly without any trace of sarcasm, for which
he deserves a medal).
My 'in-my-head' response: "No. We are the world's second largest defence
contractor, becoming increasingly reliant on electronic communications and
we decided, after many hours of consultaion with the world's largest
software producer, to plump for an e-mail system which doesn't allow
attachments. We're hoping to install 2000 monochrome monitors next month
along with 1500 5 1/4" disk drives. Hand in your computer to your local IT
administrator and request a pen and A4 pad from stationary."
Seriously, some people...
Go read the BOFH for more tales of 'how to make sure users never ever call you again. Ever."
MS Outlook. This prompted some general briefings to (L)users. And it also
prompted some blinding questions.
Presenter: "Ok, so that's basically the process which will allow BAESYSTEMS
to move from Lotus Notes to Outlook. Any questions?"
Panic-voiced (L)user: "Yes, I have a question. Can we still use
attachments?"
(at this point my friend rolled his eyes so hard he almost sprained his optic
nerve)
Presenter: "Yes you can." (amazingly without any trace of sarcasm, for which
he deserves a medal).
My 'in-my-head' response: "No. We are the world's second largest defence
contractor, becoming increasingly reliant on electronic communications and
we decided, after many hours of consultaion with the world's largest
software producer, to plump for an e-mail system which doesn't allow
attachments. We're hoping to install 2000 monochrome monitors next month
along with 1500 5 1/4" disk drives. Hand in your computer to your local IT
administrator and request a pen and A4 pad from stationary."
Seriously, some people...
Go read the BOFH for more tales of 'how to make sure users never ever call you again. Ever."
Thursday, January 08, 2004
LOL, unexpected bonus...
BBC NEWS | UK | Hoon gets US honour for Iraq work:
"UK Defence Secretary Geoff Hoon has been awarded the Pentagon's highest civilian honour for the British armed forces' role in Iraq and Afghanistan.
The Distinguished Public Service Award was given to Mr Hoon by his US counterpart, Donald Rumsfeld, at a small ceremony at the Pentagon. "
All credit to Tim at bloggerheads (clicky on right) for spotting these two ;-)
"UK Defence Secretary Geoff Hoon has been awarded the Pentagon's highest civilian honour for the British armed forces' role in Iraq and Afghanistan.
The Distinguished Public Service Award was given to Mr Hoon by his US counterpart, Donald Rumsfeld, at a small ceremony at the Pentagon. "
All credit to Tim at bloggerheads (clicky on right) for spotting these two ;-)
As expected....
News:
"Geoff Hoon, the Secretary of State for Defence, is seen as the most likely casualty when Lord Hutton's report comes out later this month."
"Geoff Hoon, the Secretary of State for Defence, is seen as the most likely casualty when Lord Hutton's report comes out later this month."
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
LOL.... If you work in I.T. go read...
The Register:
"'Quick, we need some help up in the boardroom,' The Boss gasps, winded, rolling into the office and interrupting an extended printing session, 'The projector's out!!!'
'And the technician is?'
'Sick!'
'You're not wrong - I've seen his web traffic!' our admin guy adds."
"'Quick, we need some help up in the boardroom,' The Boss gasps, winded, rolling into the office and interrupting an extended printing session, 'The projector's out!!!'
'And the technician is?'
'Sick!'
'You're not wrong - I've seen his web traffic!' our admin guy adds."
So, what happens if I press this button?
I could be back on the bins this time next year...
Link goes to fabulous pic. You gotta feel sorry for the poor bastard though....
Link goes to fabulous pic. You gotta feel sorry for the poor bastard though....
"I kick ass... FOR THE LORD!!!!!"
Tuesday, January 06, 2004
Livingstone back in from the cold
BBC NEWS | Politics | Livingstone back in from the cold:
"Tony Blair admitted his prediction that Livingstone would be a 'disaster' for London had been proved wrong.
Mr Blair said: 'I think I should be big enough to say the prediction I made...has not turned out to be right.' "
Remember, this is a man who "has no reverse gear". Yeah, right.
Wrong about one thing. Wrong about others?
"Tony Blair admitted his prediction that Livingstone would be a 'disaster' for London had been proved wrong.
Mr Blair said: 'I think I should be big enough to say the prediction I made...has not turned out to be right.' "
Remember, this is a man who "has no reverse gear". Yeah, right.
Wrong about one thing. Wrong about others?
Livingstone back in Labour Party
BBC NEWS | Politics | Livingstone back in Labour Party:
"London Mayor Ken Livingstone has been readmitted to Labour nearly four years after he was kicked out of the party."
LOL, and I wonder why? This is the man Tony Blair said would be a "disaster for London" and a "disaster for the Labour Party" and the guy John Prescott said "would never be allowed back in".
I wonder if it's anything to do with the fact that Ken is going to absolutely trounce the official Labour candidate? Maybe Labour are desperate not to lose again? Oh, i think so.
In fact I a little disappointed that Ken has gone back. I was hoping he would maintain his "lofty pariah" status which he seems to be enjoying...
"London Mayor Ken Livingstone has been readmitted to Labour nearly four years after he was kicked out of the party."
LOL, and I wonder why? This is the man Tony Blair said would be a "disaster for London" and a "disaster for the Labour Party" and the guy John Prescott said "would never be allowed back in".
I wonder if it's anything to do with the fact that Ken is going to absolutely trounce the official Labour candidate? Maybe Labour are desperate not to lose again? Oh, i think so.
In fact I a little disappointed that Ken has gone back. I was hoping he would maintain his "lofty pariah" status which he seems to be enjoying...
£15,000 top-up fee claim 'absurd'
BBC NEWS | Politics | £15,000 top-up fee claim 'absurd':
"In his letter Mr Clarke wrote: 'Any idea that the government is going to sanction fees of £15,000-a-year is quite frankly absurd.' "
Except of course that 10 years ago the idea of any Labour Government saction education fees of *any sort* was absurd.
They go from nothing to £1500 to £3000 to ????
Come on Charles, spot the pattern! There's no reason whatsoever why fees shouldn't rise to £15000, except the government's word of course. Ahem...
"In his letter Mr Clarke wrote: 'Any idea that the government is going to sanction fees of £15,000-a-year is quite frankly absurd.' "
Except of course that 10 years ago the idea of any Labour Government saction education fees of *any sort* was absurd.
They go from nothing to £1500 to £3000 to ????
Come on Charles, spot the pattern! There's no reason whatsoever why fees shouldn't rise to £15000, except the government's word of course. Ahem...
Monday, January 05, 2004
U.S. Soldiers ejected over Iraq abuses
BBC NEWS | World | Middle East | Soldiers ejected over Iraq abuses:
"Each was demoted and discharged 'under honourable conditions'. "
Honourable. Yeah, OK. Holding someone down at gunpoint and kicking them repeatedly in the knackers. Honourable.
"Each was demoted and discharged 'under honourable conditions'. "
Honourable. Yeah, OK. Holding someone down at gunpoint and kicking them repeatedly in the knackers. Honourable.
LOL at Dave's review of 2003...
Herald.com - Your Miami Everything Guide:
"On the technological front, a fast-spreading ''worm'' virus cripples Internet e-mail traffic, briefly bringing the international penis-enlargement industry to . . . well, to its knees."
"On the technological front, a fast-spreading ''worm'' virus cripples Internet e-mail traffic, briefly bringing the international penis-enlargement industry to . . . well, to its knees."
Got a job interview coming up?
Sunday, January 04, 2004
Blunkett warns top-up fees rebels
BBC NEWS | Politics | Blunkett warns top-up fees rebels:
"Mr Blunkett, writing in the Sunday Times, warned ex-Cabinet members it was not the time for 'grandstanding'. "
Unless you're Tony Blair of course, in which case grandstanding is about all you can do. See 'surprise' visit to Basra for instance. A photo-op with no actual substance.
"Mr Blunkett, writing in the Sunday Times, warned ex-Cabinet members it was not the time for 'grandstanding'. "
Unless you're Tony Blair of course, in which case grandstanding is about all you can do. See 'surprise' visit to Basra for instance. A photo-op with no actual substance.
